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| Blogs > reallyready46 > Ramblings of a middle aged man |
Swinging and AFF, rules of the road for newbies
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Swinging and AFF, rules of the road for newbies Over a period of time I have noticed on blogs and in the advice line comments, usally from women regarding mens behavior on here. I am certainly no living legion in the swinging world! But here is what my exposure to that has taught me. This should be helpful to newbies. As it was explained to me there are rules to doing most anything. Even though you may not try swinging or be interested in it, many of the rules from that are applicable to success on this site. If you think that rules are not important, think what would happen if you drove on the wroung side of the road? Rule number One; NO means NO! This is probably the biggest one. If you get no for an answer, move on. If you get an explanation, listen to it. For example if you see a woman that is part of a couple, it usally means that she does not play alone. Most often the husband likes to be part of sharing his wife. No matter how much you argue with the person, you are not going to change their mind. In fact there are ways to block you on here. Another example, when I first joined I sent out a number of messages to women that caught my eye. One local lady kindly wrote back to me saying that we would not be a good match. In my haste I had overlooked her body type which went against what I was looking for. No amount of badgering or arguing would change that. Say thanks and move on. Which leads me to rule number Two; Act like a decent person! If you are wroung admit it! Some words are best left in the bedroom. In the lifestyle the word play is used instead of f***. Much more class. Contribute, ask if you need to bring something. You are responsable for your own sexually protection. Acting like a will earn you no respect. Funny that leads me to rule number Three. Respect the people around you! Guys just because some lady from here talks to you or agrees to meet you it does not mean she is easy or sleezy. When you do not respect others, you do not get invites to come back. Rule number four, most parties are for socializing. As a single person going to a swingers you may not even get asked to join in. Same thing with meeting others on here. You may meet but put your ideas of scoring on hold. Take a bit of time to talk, you may not like what you hear and decide its just best to go separt ways. Rule number five, is this a good one! If you set a meeting call if you can not make it! This can become a real deal breaker to giving you a second chance. Car breaks down, call as soon as you can. Boss forces you to work over time? Call as soon as possible. This goes back to rule number three. Respect the people you are meeting. Rule number six, what are the local rules? Same here, what are your partners rules? Some may be, no kissing, protection only, no oral, no spanking, no anal, hair pulling, no drugs, 420 friendly, I could go on you get the idea. A couple of minutes of honest conversation goes a long way. That pretty much sums up those rules. Now those are not too hard are they?? If I may I would like to close with a couple of more things. I am not hugely endowed. I know that there are men on here that are. Just because you are, do not think this alone will allow you to score with every woman on here. As a Lady friend of mine once told me, "its not the size of the wand its how much magic thats in it". Also for everyones safety meet at some place public for your first time. If the person you are meeting turns out to be a bit wierd, you can safely walk out of there and no one knows where you live. I hope this helps, play safe and have fun! |
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Justlking4fungal I wonder at times how active some people are. There are folks on here that talk alot but it appears to be just that, talk. I know of two, kind of local woman, that I have my doubts about. I guess the biggest shock to me after joining this site was how rude people can be. I understand that sex is allowing someone into your personal space. That alone will bring up feelings. Maybe I am old fashion but I thought sex was to relax, enjoy and refresh a person. We all have our personal desires, I certainly have mine. But I read some profiles and its already almost a hate fest. Just seems like alot of society, in all things, have lost manners.
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Thank you angel for your comments. I did this not for myself, but hoping some new person would see this and get some type of education. You are absolutely correct in saying that those in the lifestyle understand what I said. I think the disconnect comes when many of us ASSUME everyone knows the rules. Some guys probably do need a reminder that even on a sex site manners and respect can go a long way. One thing I really think could go along way on here is members vouching for other members. I have seen it a couple of times in groups. Maybe that would be a good way to sort out the good and the bad. I wish you the best of luck, I hope you stop back to see me. 
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Blushing, Thanks coming from you Jez that means alot.
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